Carry On Almighty!!

Carry On Almighty!!.

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Carry On Almighty!!

Its a depressing December!! The current happenings in Delhi and other parts of India have pissed me off anyway!! The one thing Utopian was watching Sachin Bat!! Now that too has been taken away (Partially, i dare say)!! Hope you continue to play for a few more years in Tests Sachin Tendulkar!! I don’t care if Cricket or anyone else needs you, I Need You!! Your batting is the best anti depressant ever!! No combination of chemicals can ever match that!! Please continue Almighty… for my sake!!

 

– Jaivardhan

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The Unhappy Place

It’s that sickening feeling…as if something bad is about to happen…a sinking sensation in the stomach…something cold around my diaphragm…making it really difficult to breathe…not sure why, but it’s been this way for a while now… Since the last month I have been coping with it…the only reprieve being the trip to Thailand…a place where I was able to forget everything and just live for myself… Life has been in that Unhappy Place of late…

Overall the year hasn’t been one of my best and lately it seems to be making a serious effort to make it my worst!! – Now that’s a HUGE thing to say!!! The worst year of my life!!? Jaivardhan Verma’s life!!? There are some very strong contenders for this title – 1995, 1996, 1997, 2003, 2005, 2008, 2009, 2010 and now 2012!! Each has had it’s own significantly disastrous effect on my life…wouldn’t bother with the details of the previous contenders but the same ‘sickening feeling’ has been a tell tale sign for events to follow – I am beginning to sound like one of those Superstitious Wimps, ain’t I? Anyway…the thing is that this feeling has never lasted for such a long time before… Is premonition an actual phenomenon?? If it is, it SUCKS!! If it isn’t, then WTF is happening to me!!? Be it The Princess ‘Dumping’ me again [sort of] like a used toilet paper and treating me like the one that keeps coming out of the trashcan to Chhota Papa’s [The Most Awesome Uncle in the World] heart attack followed by Dad’s!!! It’s a great thing that they both survived it… but the Heart Attacks just shouldn’t have happened!!! Neither should have the ‘Dumping part 2’!!! These incidents also proved the fact that I am totally unprepared for reality!!! In the case of Princess, any self respecting man would have severed all ties but I guess I have no self respect [a realization that does not make me feel good]. In the cases of Heart Attacks, I have no money to support the most Awesome Uncle in the World or my Dad… after 9 years of working my savings are Zilch!!! What kind of a life have I been living!!? The job ain’t the best either…at least it seems that way with talks of downsizing everywhere!!! All the good people [people with brains and conscience] seem to be losing out whereas some absolute ‘assholes’ have been retained [NOT GOOD!!] The feeling is like ‘You are next!!’ and the worst part is i don’t know what to do about it!! Not that I want to leave it!!! I still believe its a great place to work at… I am perceived as a weirdo in most of my circles – work, friends or family!! Food for thought [for me]!!?

Half the year has gone by and it’s time for some serious Overhauling!!! Wondering where to begin!!! There seems to be a ray of light coming in the form of ‘My Flower / My Favorite’…just hope its not a train coming towards me but an actual opportunity to LIVE!!! So help me God!!

– Jaivardhan
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Marriage within Caste or Incest?

Sounds really weird…but i can’t help asking this question! What’s this fixation with Marriage within Caste? From personal experience, i can’t be with the girl i am in love with because My Family and I Don’t have Uncut Hair, We Don’t carry Wooden Combs and strapped curved Swords and We Don’t wear Metal Bracelets and a Specific style of Cotton Underwear!!!

Really!? Does this decide my eligibility to marry the Woman I Love!?

I mean, with all due respect [if any possible] would this make me an ideal groom!?
I was never told it was this easy!!

Here i was thinking that i need to be – A responsible person, with a secured and well paying Job, need to own a Flat and a Car [at least], should be loving and caring, should respect women, should consider his wife to be his better half [literally], assist her with all the household chores and firmly believe in the saying “Till Death Do Us Apart”, to name a few… BUT, i seem to be highly mistaken!

All i needed was to be born in a family complying to the criteria mentioned in the first paragraph…

In some cases, I may have a chance even if i alone comply to the above mentioned criteria… [Ha! Child’s Play!]

Anyway…moving on…Personally i prefer the Darwinian Theory of Origin to The Adam & Eve one…Considering this, if marriages are only within caste, wouldn’t they all end up being cousins? And wouldn’t this be considered Incest?? [Gross]

Scientifically, The Gene Pool remains stagnant with no new entrants, which is plain regressive!!

But the worst part seems to be the brainwashing of kids who grow up with weird ideas about other Castes/Religions…would i call that good parenting? Guess not!

And then you have people from such Castes venturing into relations with people from other Castes to only end up saying, “I can’t marry you because you are NOT from my Caste!”…

A WTF moment for sure!!! Followed by absolute silence!! Then…a semblance of reasoning starts creeping in your head…”she must be joking”… you call the bluff [you think its one] only to be Shocked!! “She is friggin Serious!!!”

You say, “Hmmm…interesting…Did it take you so long to realize that!!?”…

Now comes the moment of truth… It suddenly occurs to you that your partner was either just ‘fooling around’ OR is ‘plain dumb’… since you are a kind person, you will never consider her to be Evil…hence you conclude that your partner is Plain Dumb!

See! The effects of stagnant gene pool!! It makes a person SLOW in figuring out the Caste the other person belongs to!!

This one is for all the parents who have brought up their kids with the ideology of marriage within caste – 
Come on!! If you want to continue living in a regressive manner, at least be fair and ensure your kids interact only with people from your own Caste… You are regressive enough to teach such ideology… you may as well be regressive enough to stop them from befriending humans from other Castes…

Cheers!

Jaivardhan

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Fart Machine

So… here it is… my first one… and unfortunately [or fortunately for some] i can only think of my Gaseous experience today…
The rickshaw wala [whom i shall refer to as The Fart Machine] probably had a deadly combination of Besan and Mooli as part of one of his meals… It was a once in a lifetime experience in a rickshaw [I Hope and Pray] as i haven’t heard anyone else narrating one…
The sudden spurts of warm air, coming straight for my nose at regular intervals, were overwhelming… add to it The SMELL… nope… this was no ordinary one… i can understand ordinary… and post this experience, have come to appreciate ordinarily stinking farts… This was made of Legendary Stuff!!! This one made the stench of our Sulabh Sauchalayas seem fragrance!!!
I am not exaggerating when i say that at such moments death seems a feasible option! I wonder what The Fart Machine actually ate [Mooli and Besan being just my guess]… 
Anyway… he looked apologetic [he better!!] and that’s probably the silver lining in this gaseous cloud… He seemed too embarr(ass)ed to mention it and I, well, I was just too happy to have survived the onslaught…

Thankfully, rickshaws aren’t air-conditioned! I dread to imagine such proceedings in a cool cab!!

In hindsight, i wonder if this was the reason The Fart Machine was reluctant for the journey!? Poor guy, was probably trying to save me!!

So…here’s a sincere request to all my Rickshaw walas, Taxi walas, Bus walas…Careful with your Meals Mates!!! Your Customers would usually be in the firing line in such cases and you surely don’t want to add This as another reason to Irk Them!!!

Cheers!

Jaivardhan

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